Women live under a lot of pressure. There’s a high level of expectation as to how the home should be kept and decorated. From what I can tell, the cleanliness bar is set (and periodically readjusted) by one’s peers.
The best way to attain a passing grade from judgmental guests is to serve good wine—and plenty of it. Minor imperfections such as dirty dishes, clothes in the floor, and black-velvet paintings become insignificant dust bunnies bouncing harmlessly in the cozy confines of your humble abode.
You may think its bad now, but it was even tougher back in the old days. Cave women didn’t always good wine and liquor stores had not yet been invented. What’s a girl to do? Ugla is coming by this afternoon and the place is a mess. Dar’s loincloth is on the kitchen floor, cobwebs dangle from the stalactites, and the kids don’t look like they’ve had a bath in three moons. That Neanderthal witch will tell every woman within a two-day walk what a terrible cavekeeper you are.
Thankfully, your copy of Good Cavekeeping magazine arrived yesterday and you can keep Ugla occupied by discussing exciting new recipes for charred meat, roots, and wild berries.
If you’re still afraid she’ll badmouth your cave, hit her in the head with a rock. It works every time.