Friday, February 3, 2012

Workin’ on a Building

Workin’ on a Building
Sometimes I wonder how Connie talks me into these major projects. Am I extremely gullible, or am I like that little dog on the Looney Tunes cartoon that follows the bulldog around saying, “Can I help Spike? Can I? Huh, huh? Just say the word, Spike—I’ll get right on it.”
When we were young, she would skillfully employ her feminine assets to tempt, tease, or reward me. While there is still a strong allure to those magical powers, I must confess they don’t have the bargaining power they once held.
While I have worked hard to maintain a lifestyle of laziness and procrastination, Connie has earned a master’s degree in salesmanship and persistence. She forges strong arguments as to why we need these things and how much pleasure and enjoyment we will derive once the project is complete.
Presently, we are in the midst of constructing a 564 sq. ft. structure. People ask me, “Why do you need that? And what are you going to use it for?” The answer I’ve been given is that Connie will move some of her treasures out there and hold sales at strategic times throughout the year. This will, of course, will provide the resources to purchase new treasures, thus rotating the stock and stimulating global economic growth.
Everyone agrees that such a magnificent edifice deserves an equally appropriate name. Connie originally referred to the building as her ‘Woman Cave,’ which I quickly revised into ‘The Hen House.’ A title that would be more accurate, but would take up the entire north wall, is ‘Big Mama’s Little House of Horribly Old Stuff.’
Feel free to submit a suggestion, or offer a vote of confidence for one of the names above. Serious consideration will be given to all.
Yesterday, we laid the subfloor and stood the walls on three sides. The goal is to have the metal roof screwed down before I return to work early next week. I’m sure Connie will be posting construction updates on Facebook, and possibly some pictures in the coming days.
In the meantime, I am soliciting donations of BC Powder, Ben Gay ointment, and beer. Your support would be greatly appreciated—especially the beer.

1 comment:

  1. Very funny Russell. But I bet Connie has a name picked out already too ;)