Friday, July 6, 2012

My Adobe Hacienda

I used the title from an old Bob Wills’ song for this week’s Friday Flash Fiction. While I was at it, I raped the lyrics from another song a by popular western swing artist, through in a couple of rednecks, stirred briskly, and threw out in the hot sun to bake. 
This week’s photo by Amanda Gray. To read more stories, go to  click on the Blog tab, and follow the links.

My Adobe Hacienda

“How much further, Bubba? I ain’t seeing no ocean yet.”

“The guy said it’s remote. He called it a romantic getaway.”

Two hours later.

“Thar it is, Charlene. Our mansion in paradise.”

“Don’t look like no mansion to me. It ain’t even got no roof.”

“That’s so you can see the stars at night, Sweetie.  Look. Thar’s the Golden Gate.”

A section of wrought iron fence, painted John Deere yellow, dangled from a concrete pier.

“Let me see that deed again, Charlene. Why, I ought to shoot that singing cowboy.”

What’s a matter, honey?”

“This ain’t Arizona. It’s New Mexico!”


  1. LOL. Wonderful. Very creative. I especially loved the "Golden Gate." A couple of things I noticed: it seemed like they would probably be dropping the "g"s in the dialogue ("I ain't seein' no ocean yet.") and I'm guessing it would be a concrete pillar, not a pier (a pier is specific to water). I was also lost with the last line (both Arizona and New Mexico are land-locked). Did you mean California? (Where the Golden Gate Bridge is?) Or did I miss something entirely?

    1. It's a take-off on "Ocean Front Property" by George Strait. You're right about pillar instead of pier (and probably the "g"s - although I didn't want to overdo the dialect).

      The holiday in the middle of the week messed my mental calendar up. I'm still not sure what day of the week it is, but I know I'm running behind.

  2. Once again, Russell, I'm let down by lack of cultural references, but this time I can safely say it doesn't matter. This story is fantastic. A few people have gone for the husband buying something the wife didn't like, but yours is my favourite. You've given us such a rich tapestry here, through the voices, the landscape and the story. Nicely done.

  3. I loved 'John Deere yellow' - I could just visualise it. The framework of the story is lost on me, but I loved the voices, and she would have to be called Charlene. Nice one.

  4. I come here for my weekly chuckle and am not disappointed. I've already had an editor point out that dialogue can be overdone. Good call. I got it without the g's being dropped.

  5. Chuckles.
    The way he was giving a sales pitch to the place, I'm not entirely sure it was the agent who messed up.

  6. I too really liked 'John Deere yellow' - a great description.

  7. I meant Ocean FRONT... oops. Been a long week! LOL

  8. Hi Russell,
    Yeah, I have some oceanfront property in Oklahoma for sale. I'd make you a good deal on it. Only thing is, the ocean hasn't been there for a few hundred million years, but you have a good imagination so that shouldn't be a problem. Another good story, my friend. You show some writing prowess on this one.

  9. It always says on those daytime property shows that you shouldn't buy blind. I don't think Charlene will forget this one, but at least he tried to make it sound romantic :-/

    I'm here:

  10. I've stayed in places like that.... Romantic is in the eye of the beholder.

  11. Aww poor guy, tried his best! A cautionary tale maybe of how not to buy blind. Great tale :)

  12. Hi Witty Russell: I'm a little late going down the long list this week. My comments weren't getting through. Madison fixed it. Well I'll be...seems your muse and my muse were looking over each other's shoulders this week.

  13. Another weekend, another good laugh. I don't know the song, but I have heard such voices, and the punchline was perfect.