Friday, July 13, 2012

A Tale of Two Sissies



I can really relate to this week’s photo. I’ve been called an ‘old buzzard,’ and told that I have ‘buzzard breath’ upon occasion. Experts say we don’t have buzzards in NW Arkansas, technically they are vultures. I’m not going to worry too much about it unless one’s picking my bones. My Dad used to say if you ate a lot of hot peppers they would eat you. It’s a good thing I had a dozen jalapenos before starting this story.  To read more stories, go to   http://madison-woods.com/  click on the Blog tab, and follow the links.


A Tale of Two Sissies



“Come on boys, eat your food.”

“Ah, Mom . . . .” Brian and Billy whined in unison. “Do we have to?”

“Your father works hard to feed us. You want to grow up big and strong like him, don’t you?”

“But it smells awful,” said Brian.

“And it taste raw—like it needs to ripen some more,” added Billy.

“There’s nothing wrong with this food,” said Mom. “You can’t go play until you finish your meal.”

“Why do we have the same thing every Friday?” Billy choked back the tears.

“Because Friday’s the day when most Fictioneers get run over by the prompt.”

23 comments:

  1. Hah! Nice one Russell, I've never been likened to road-kill before but it's something to dwell on, that's for sure.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/every-cloud-friday-fictioneers-july-2012/

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  2. Hahaha! We are the roadkill! Nice!
    Here's mine!
    http://susielindau.com/2012/07/13/be-careful-what-you-wish-110-word-flash-fiction/

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  3. The last thing I expected when I started reading this was to end up giggling maniacally. Thanks for this fabulous piece!

    http://whimsicalquestsofacuriousmind.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-71312-round-2.html

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  4. Another humorous one but very different from the other!

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  5. Oh, dear Russell ~ ...'like it needs to ripen some more...' Hahaha.... Then you hit us with the last line. Gut splitting. What would FF's would be like without you and your humor. Hate to think of it...don't ever leave us.

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  6. A great, humour filled and imaginative take on the prompt. Nice one, Russel. I'm here and linked too: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/fridayfictioneers-spectators/

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  7. Nice one. Loved the stench and the boys complaining about eating the same thing every Friday. I tried a humorous take as well.

    http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/

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    Replies
    1. Eating the Fictioneers! Yikes. :)

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  8. Ack!! I'm being eaten!! Got me on the ending! Loved the dialog and I have to agree, we need to be a little more ripe before eaten. We're too tough when we're raw. ;)

    Here's mine.
    http://mahjira.blogspot.com/2012/07/bird-friday-fictioneer.html

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  9. Hi Russell,
    Did you know Friday Fictioneers taste just like chicken? Tyson's chicken, that has been left in a mayonaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls front porch for two days in July. But don't complain, there are kids in China who would love to be eating a Fictioneer!
    Ron

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    Replies
    1. Right you are, Ron. Fictioneers come in Hot & Spicy, BBQ, Lemon Pepper, and Ranch. I believe Madison is working on a dipping sauce even as we speak!

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  10. HAHA! What a wonderful job! I love it! I've missed the Fictioneers so much and this is just what I needed to read!

    http://quillshiv.com/2012/07/12/lady-of-war/

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  11. Dear Russell,

    The kids can eat my lawyer if they can find their way to The Big Apple. Tell 'em to follow their nose and as Mick Jagger said, "Don't mind the maggots."

    This was a story with a sweet (sickly so) ending. I refuse to be run over by the prompts and neither do you, because this weeks story was another choice gobbet from you.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    For others not willing to finish their suppers--- http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/roadkill/

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  12. Oh dear. The first circular reference I've read in Friday Fictioneers. The programmer in me winces, and smiles.

    Nice job!

    Here's mine:

    http://madison-woods.com/index-of-stories/untitled-071312/#comment-11576

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  13. Bon appetit!
    http://wp.me/s1nUrn-buzzard

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  14. OMG. You just made my coffee spurt out my nose! I know a few folks you can send the kiddies to eat, but I'm afraid they would give them food poisoning.

    www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07arson.html

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  15. From the wonderful title to the funny last line, and everything in between -- simply hilarious!

    --Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/flashfriday-fictioneers-the-ugly-one/

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  16. Ha! Maybe she should get the boys involved in the preparation. They could do the tenderising.

    Thanks for the chuckle, Russell!

    http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/canyon-ff-friday-the-13th-of-july-12/

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  17. I was laughing from the title onward but the guffaw at the end almost spilled my coffee! Priceless!

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  18. Hmmmm... Thanks Russell. I feel much better now that I know there are no leftovers on Fridays.
    Funny!

    http://logo-ligi.com/2012/07/12/soliloquy-of-a-disgruntled-raven/

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  19. Is that your way of saying "eat me!" to the rest of us? haha

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  20. HAHA! Oh Russell this one made me laugh really LOUD out loud. How funny! Loved it.

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  21. Russell, exactly what is it you smoke before writing this stuff? You are one funny guy.

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