Uncle Claude had a beautiful outhouse. Maybe not as elegant as the two story variety that Grandpa said the politicians in Washington, DC used, but without a doubt the fanciest building for its purpose between New York and San Francisco.
It was erected on a concrete slab over what appeared to be a bottomless pit. A six panel wood door with a glass knob provided access to what Grandpa proclaimed as the “the King of all Crappers.”
Richard lit the fuse and dropped the stick into the bottomless pit. Within seconds, he and Clifford fully understood the phrase about the fan.
That is hilarious! Yes, it hit the fan, big time, and then some. Funny and well-written. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHere's my flash fiction for this week: http://sweettea.kdmccrite.com/a-highway-runs-through-it-flash-fiction-102811/
Love that subtle jab at politicians, haha.
ReplyDeleteDear Russell,
ReplyDeleteThis was VERY good. Politicians, two story out houses and the illustration of the possible origins of a favorite phrase. This photo prompt hit very close to home for a lot of us. i wonder, did your ever drop an M-80 into a toilet on your college campus?
Aloha,
Doug
Ewww! Way to gross us out, Russell. :D (I've always wondered about the origins of that phrase myself.)
ReplyDeleteConsider losing "beautiful". I think you'll get more of a build-up as we read to "fanciest".
ReplyDeleteGood job! Robin (still chuckling)
Good point, Robin. I like "fanciest" better too. Thanks for the tip.
ReplyDeleteGood try, Russell, but you had no mention of a Sears Roebuck catalog. The fancier outhouses had at least one copy. And what's up with the fan? How did that work with no electricity? Fiction works better if it is an authentic representation of made up facts. Fact 1: Some form of paper was required. Fact 2: Fans cannot operate without electricity. I hope you see where your story could have been tremendously better had you considered these two things. Therefore, I can only give you four stars out of five on this one.
ReplyDeleteAha! I love that you are making reference to the old "shit hit the fan" saying. It took me a minute to realize and then I felt very happy about the whole story. Really funny :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I posted late, so here's my story: http://thecolorlime.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/flash-fiction-discovered-99-words/
Russell, you're a master, not only of humor, but flash, too! So much said in so few words--love it! Even the comments are great!
ReplyDelete